If it goes Pete Tong I can join the circus.

It has been a while! I know, my social media handle should be @inconsistant

My sporadic posting aside, I hope this blog finds you doing ok, and if you aren’t ok, I hope you can find a small pocket of peace today.

Returning to social media recently has been a positive experience. I can feel my creative mojo returning after it took a sabbatical of its own! Connecting with my creativity was something I wanted to do this year. It felt important having lost touch with it under a pile of laundry and a never-ending to-do list. I felt part of myself was waiting to be reclaimed. I love that word by the way, reclaimed. I have decided I am not having a mid-life crises…rather a midlife awakening!

When I say connecting to my creativity, I don’t just mean writing or painting. I have discovered some unique ways of expressing myself. For example, I finally plucked up the courage to undertake a pole dancing class! Which involves a room full of women and one man, empowering and supporting one another while having a complete hoot.

Once I had realised that no one was interested in how well or how badly I was executing the moves, that everyone was concentrating on their own ’thing’, I let go and had a blast. I am currently giving trapeze a go, which I LOVE. Who knew that was even a hobby, trapeze!? Inhibitions and perfectionism are left at the door.

The pole, trapeze, and painting all remind me of my childhood self, when I would ‘do the thing’ without thinking of the outcome. It reminds me of afternoons lost to glitter, cardboard boxes and glue you could peel off fingers. Of the times I would hang upside down on the monkey bars, no thought in my head other than the sensation of swinging from my knees and genuinely embodying my body.

As highlighted by Meredith Sinclair, a former schoolteacher and author of “Well Played: The Ultimate Guide to Awakening Your Family’s Playful Spirit, creative ‘play’ stills my mind. If I am too busy trying not to fall off a swinging trapeze, I am not ruminating, overthinking or intellectualising. Instead, I have to be fully present. It is freeing and has increased my confidence to try new things, pushing me into the discomfort zone and helping me grow.

Most importantly, it is fun. I leave trapeze every week smiling and so glad I didn’t listen to the little voice in my head that said I should get on with XYZ instead. In my experience, too many shoulds and insufficient wants result in exhaustion, resentment and burnout.

It’s tricky to give ourselves permission to prioritise and make space for creativity and play. We live in a society that conditions us, especially women, to justify downtime. That makes us feel guilty for resting, for being ‘frivolous’ with time when we could reorganise a cupboard and earn our productivity stripes.

Still, we can take a beat to consider why we find it difficult. To ask the questions;

Who told us that story?

Where does the idea we can’t make space to let loose and go to the adult roller disco come from?

What would it feel like to do the thing and not give a flying fish what anyone else thought?

What if we just swung from the monkey bars, and the only thought we had was I love how this feels?

Oh, and if it all goes tits up, I might be able to join the circus with my newfound skills.

Love,

Rose x

Things I have loved recently.

TV: Chris Packham’s Inside Our Autistic Minds. – sensitive, beautiful educational.

Reads: Daisy & the Six – Delightful, original writing style. Great escape reading.

Podcasts: This episode of The Happy Place with Wintering author Katherine May spoke to the part of me that sometimes needs and wants to slow down.

Eats: THE best banana cake recipe and Milky Bar Caramel – seriously its like Caramac but better. Whatever happened to Caramacs?

Apps: I re-downloaded Calm and am obsessed with Theta wave sounds to sleep.